My Father's Dog by Russel Meyer

Dear friends,

My South African brother Russel  sent me a message about his wise father and the way he lived with his dog. This message is so moving and inspiring that I published it on my website, in my mailing list and here on my walking blog. I invite you to read it.

Hi Bruno,

I have been a fan of Cesar Milan and yourself for some time. Your advice on living with dogs is really useful to me, and I enjoy reading your mails.

While feeding my dogs a few days ago, I was struck by how much I had learned from my dad, and how wise he has been in living in harmony with his dog.  I don’t hold up my dad as the ideal dog owner, and some of his practices may not be the ideal way to raise a dog.  However, I can tell you lots about how he lived in harmony with his dog. I would like to share this with you:

My fathers dog was named Chaka, named after a fierce Zulu king.  He was a thorough-bred Alsatian (German Shepherd), which came into our family just after I was born.  My father says my brother and I played very roughly with Chaka – we pulled his tail, rode on him as if he was horse, and he endured all with stoic calm.  He was so protective of us that when my dad needed to spank us he had to lock Chaka away, or else he would continually push my dad away. But, there were several occasions when he protected us from burglars, when was very, very fierce.

My dad had a few rules that were never broken:

1.       He never allowed Chaka into the house, unless he called him, and then never in the bedrooms and never on couches or chairs.  He always said: “a dog’s place is outside the house”
2.       He always said (and still does): “I trust my own dog and another dead dog”, so he would never touch or pet another dog, even when invited
3.       He never encouraged anyone to touch Chaka -if they did he always said: “you take your chances when you do that; he wont harm you while I am here, but if you do that when I am not here, watch out”.  Few people ever touched Chaka, none did so after he growled at them
4.       Whenever my dad walked Chaka, it was without a leash.  And I never once heard my dad shout at Chaka – he didn’t have to, Chaka stayed at his left leg throughout the walk
5.       We grew up poor so we couldn’t afford the best dog food.  We bought what we could afford – and my dad’s daily ritual was too rinse out all the pots and pour the gravy and food bits over the dry food.  I don’t know how healthy that was, but Chaka had a beautiful coat and he lived a long, healthy life.

At the age of 14yrs Chaka had arthritis and was suffering badly. A vet suggested we put Chaka down to end his suffering.  My dad could not get himself to do it, until one day Chaka could not even get up anymore.  He just laid and wagged his tail.

My dad never owned a dog again – he said, “I have already had the best dog anyone could ever ask for”.  I think they were best example of canine / human friendship I have ever seen.  And I try to practice what I have learnt from my dad. 

He may not have known the best way to care for a dog, but it was enough.

Kind regards,

Russel Meyer

HR Business Partner: Sub-Saharan Africa
Tullow South Africa (Pty) Ltd( work: +27 (0) 21 400 7691?  fax:   +27 (0) 21 400 7660

11^th Floor Convention Towers
Cnr. Heerengracht and Coen Steytler Avenue, Foreshore
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Dear members of my dog walking classes.

It was my intention to walk in the Vall de Gallinera this coming Sunday, but....

The weather forecast (previsiones del tiempo) is that it will rain and it will be cold.

For that reason I suggest that we postpone the walk in the mountains and stay on tarmac.

Therefore my proposal is that we do the walk in Orba instead.

If you remember where the Orba cemetery is, you can wait for me there on 28.04.2013 at 10.15.

If you do not know where the Orba cemetery is, then come and meet me at the library in Jalon/Xalo at 9.45 for 10.00 on that same day of Sunday 28.04.2013.

Love and blessings from Bruno

My dogs my teachers.

When I became a member of a dog training club with my first Labrador I had no experience whatsoever in what was called "dog training".
As best as I could I imitated what the amateur-trainers showed me. Immediately I did not like their brutal use of choke chains. But I had to use it too because...well, the ones that knew more than me, told me it was the correct way to "train" a dog. I still feel bad when I think about how my first beautiful female canine companion must have suffered from the violent use of the chain around her neck.
It took me many years to discover that understanding how dogs behave in nature was my first step on the road leading to a fullfilling and harmonious relationship with my dogs. Meantime I had to unlearn almost everything I had been taught in "dog training" clubs. I started learning how the members of my own pack behaved and communicated. No wonder I began to look at them as my teachers. After the success of the movie "The Horse Whisperer", many dog trainers started calling themselves "dog whisperers".
I have never done that.
What could I possibly whisper (!) in the ears of my teachers, except "I love you the way you are"?
My second important step took place when I discovered how my dogs offered me a direct link to mother nature. They live in harmony with Mother Nature. They live in the Now without any reminiscing about the past or worrying about the future. Their way of life does not destroy our planet, while that is exactly what we are doing with our way of life. They never judge, condemn or blame. We do it all the time.
Dogs live in a world were to have means nothing compared to TO BE.
And what are we? Are we human havings or human beings?
If you do not agree with what I am writing I do not care.
My next step was that I began to see how natural it felt to consider the dogs who live with me as my brothers and sisters and even as spiritual teachers. During my initiation as New Warrior in the ManKindProject (2006) there was no doubt about the animal name I choose: Honouring my then canine pack leader I called myself "Black Dog".
And look what I found, many years later, on page 78 of the book "The Flying Boy. Healing the wounded man" written by John Lee:

"According to the Indian creating story, animals were created before human beings, so they have a certain proximity to the Great Spirit. In them the Indian sees actual reflections of the qualities of the Great Spirit, which serve the same function as revealed scriptures in other religions. They are intermediaries or links between humans and God."

This is so clear to me now that I am amazed how many people are still talking about "bad dogs". Well, it is not the first time you hear me say this but I am going to repeat it once more: bad dogs do not exist, except in the mind of unconscious people.

DOG WALKING CLASSES
This coming Sunday 21.04.2013 we will walk from Alcalalí to Parcent and back and enjoy the beauty of the many flowers in this Springtime. Let's meet at 9.45 for 10.00 at the library in Jalón. By the way: Do not enter the barn of our neighbours. They have a new dog. 

Love

Bruno

Except when...

Do you use excuses like "I cannot", "I'm not good enough", "I am good for nothing", "I should", "Yes, I know but", etc...?
Over the years I have heard many dog lovers use all sorts of excuses when talking about the behaviour of their pets. It took me a very long time to notice the real message behind these excuses.
Do you know why it took me such a long time?
Well, the answer is simple:  

I was used to making excuses myself in all sorts of situations.

Only from the moment I became conscious of what I was thinking, feeling and doing could I see through the smoke screen of my unconscious behaviour. Because of my initiation in the ManKindProject and my work in many circles of men, could I develop a new way of thinking, feeling and behaving. It soon became obvious that for the major part of my life I had been dishonest and unclear with myself, my dogs and my fellow human beings. The amazing thing was the discovery that I was not alone in having done this. The hundreds of emotionally mature men I met in the men's circles had all gone through the same processes.
I realized that for many decades I was being lived an unconscious life based upon feelings of fear and guilt.
As soon as I could shake off the many negative rules and regulations I learned as a child, I really could start living my own life. I do not blame my parents, teachers, priests, professors, etc... at all.
They did the best they could, as they had also been "educated" with the same rules and regulations.
But it is my opinion that we do not have to continue living as victims of an "education" based upon fear and guilt.
We can break the chains of this fear- and guilt-based education.
In that respect dogs have been magnificent teachers for me. They never judge, blame or critisize anyone and they are very clear in their communication. You too, you can learn how to clearly understand their behaviour, if you learn their (body) language. The thing is that you will start to understand how YOU think, feel and behave. With your new consciousness you will be able to create an atmosphere of harmony in the life you are leading with yourself, your dogs and the people around you.
And who would not like that?

I was thinking about all this while reading an article written by Cesar Millan.
He has the same experience as I have when dealing with dog loving people and their pets.
In this article he comments on one of the many excuses he is hearing.
This excuse is: Except when...

"When it comes to dealing with issues with our dogs, we can become very good at building our own brick walls. Many times, I have heard people say, “My dog is perfect, except when...” Except when she eats my shoes, except when he shows aggression, except when I have no control on the walk...
“Except when” is the excuse that allows us to not move forward. It’s what we tell ourselves so that we can live with a problem instead of dealing with that problem. All the time, people put up with behavior in dogs that they would not tolerate in other humans. If you had friends who decided to trash your house, you’d stop inviting them over. If your kids were disrespectful, you would deal with it immediately.
Your dog does not see you as the Pack Leader, or doesn’t have rules, boundaries, and limitations? Well, that’s “almost perfect.” But why should that be good enough?
It is much easier for an object at rest to remain that way, because it takes energy to get it moving. What’s easy to forget is that it also took energy to make it stop; in this case, negative energy. The good news, though, is that it only takes a little push to start rolling again.
Here’s the little push. When it comes to your dog’s behavior, what’s your “except when?” Now, complete the following sentence: “So then I...”. If you finish that with “do nothing,” then you need to get moving again. The spring rebirth of Nature and the message of Easter provide a reminder. It is never too late for growth, and it is never impossible".


Thank you Cesar and thank you all my canine teachers.

OUR DOG WALKING CLASS
Thank you Anna and John for the long but superb walk in the Vall de Gallinera.
This coming Sunday 07.04.2013 we will stay in Jalón/Xaló for our dog walking class. I will be waiting for you at the library at 9.45 for 10.00

Diesen kommendan Sonntag 07.04.2013 moechte ich in Jalón/Xaló bleiben. Ich warte auf sie an unsere Bibliothek ab 9.45 und fange an um 10.00

LieGrue von Bruno

With love from Bruno