In the Goju Ryu - dojo of Lilian and Elias Kattan in Durbanville I had a very interesting experience.
I sent the following email about my experience to Sensei Lilian.
Dear Lilian,
Not only the kobudo class but also the karate class of last Monday was
very interesting for me.
For the first time I was allowed to participate in a kumite exercise
in your class.
The first part was with two kyu's and the last part was with a dan.
I remember how you explained we were only to go for that part of the
body situated between the neck and the belt.
Standing in front of the dan, I looked into his eyes.
In the dojos of Miguel Gomez/Antonio Escoda/Paco Feliu, but also
during all the processes in the ManKindProject I have been trained to
do that.
In the Spanish dojos I was told to hold the stare of the other student
and read the person standing in front of me.
Maestro Miguel Gomez told me that what we are aiming for is that in
the end we will be able to read the other person by simply looking at
her/his feet.
In the ManKindProject we learn how to read our own reflections and
projections in the eyes of the other man.
Looking into someone's eyes is of course something we are not taught to do in our Western society as many people consider it to be a threat.
Standing in front of the dan I immediately picked up a mixture of
defiance and insecurity.
That is of course only my personal perception and my personal interpretation.
When we started the exercise I was amazed to notice that I could touch
the chest of the dan who was my sparring partner.
Until all of a sudden he knocked me down, touching me with his foot on my chin.
Doing that he ignored what you had asked us to do, i.e. only touch the
area between our neck and our belt.
In Spain I liked to do kumite with men who are younger, faster,
stronger and more agile that I am, because that offered me the perfect
opportunity to learn.
That is exactly what the dan in your class has offered me.
I was not experienced enough nor fast enough to see his foot coming.
Following the kick and falling down I have not felt any pain nor discomfort.
It was a great lesson for me and a very interesting experience.
(The lesson for me was that I had been carried away by my Ego as I wanted to make it clear to the black belt that I was more than a white belt. He from his side decided to ignore the instructions of the Sensei and show the white belt who could touch him that he was better than me. Both black belt and white belt came under the influence of our Ego. I still have to learn that I have to be in control of my Ego under all circumstances.)
Herunder you can read the letter I received from Sensei Lilian.
Bruno hi,
People come and go and enrich our lives in many ways.
It has been good to know you for the short time.
What you see here with us is what we are.
We try to pass on our philosophy, not easy for every one to accept in
practice. What always encourages us is that we know people come here for us,
not so much for our system. I suppose it is a package deal! We very rarely
experience any intentional disruption of "harmony" amongst our members.
Always so important to keep in mind is what internal problems people carry with
themselves into the dojo ~ many come here for the chance to let go.
It is a great pity that you will miss the opportunity to practice with our
guest Kobudo instructor in April. He will be here weekend 14/15 April.
If you need to adjust your travel plans, keep this in mind.
Of course we will keep in touch, no matter where you travel.
Regards,
Lilian and Elias
Showing posts with label Personal development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal development. Show all posts
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Black Belt Chances of Success
Dear Friends,
Being a student of martial arts is constantly offering me important tools for my personal development. To give you one example: Moving to Cape Town I became a student in the school for martial arts in Kenilworth. Having already obtained 11 different belts in other "dojos" I was nevertheless invited to start here as a white belt. This was (and is) for me quite a lesson in humility. During the ritual that precedes every training we all say together:
"I will be humble, peaceful and honourable. I will strive to be a better person. I will respect all human beings. I will not injure or harm others. I will not be too proud or modest. I will practice with earnest and patience and apply these principles in my daily life."
Today the sensei sent me the picture you can see above about the chances of success.
If you read the text and think about it, you will see how these "chances of success" are not only applicable for those who are striving to become a black belt. They are true for everything we do in our daily life.
Also in our daily life with our beloved pets.
Love and blessings from Brunothedoglistener
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Emmanuel Kelly
Dear friends,
Sit down and watch this video from South Africa about Emmanuel Kelly, succeeding
against all odds. It received it on my mkp.sa brothers mailing list.
http://www.leader.co.za/article.aspx?s=43&f=1&a=3090
LOVE
Bruno
Sit down and watch this video from South Africa about Emmanuel Kelly, succeeding
against all odds. It received it on my mkp.sa brothers mailing list.
http://www.leader.co.za/article.aspx?s=43&f=1&a=3090
LOVE
Bruno
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Denial
I once had a friend called Peter. He was what could be called a jolly good fellow. But he was also an alcoholic. There was an ongoing battle between Peter and his wife. She was constantly hiding bottles of alcohol, but Peter was very good in finding them. He was also good in denial. Whenever he had a bruised nose, arm or leg because he had once more fallen flat on his face, it had never anything to do with the fact he was intoxicated. No it was because there was this rotten carpet, or a loose tile, or a bad staircase that was the cause of his accidents. He was in denial until the very last bottle he drank. Then he fell for the last time and was dead.
But I do not want to talk about junkies who are in denial with their addiction. Today I am writing to you about the denial I see in some of my clients.
Understanding what my dogs tell me, gives me a warm feeling of satisfaction. Noticing how they understand what I want, fills my heart with friendship and love for them.
Have you ever had similar feelings?
When I visit clients, I often experience positive vibrations between myself and their dogs. Strangely enough many clients call their pet a MAD dog. It fills my heart with pure joy when I see how these so-called MAD dogs respond positively to my body language. Often I can notice the asking look in their eyes, telling me clearly:
I Am Not Mad; I Am In A Position Where I Do Not Want To Be. Please Help Me. I Do Not Get The Leadership I Want.
Sometimes the carers of the dog see the changes in their pet a few minutes after my arrival. They might say things like: We have never seen our dog like this with visitors. The process might take a few minutes, or it might take an hour, but without talking to the dog, without touching and without looking at her/him, I am telling this stressed animal:
You do not have to worry anymore. I am in charge now. You can relax.
As soon as the dog gets the message (s)he will become calmer, lie down and then I can wait for something that makes me really happy. That something is a deep sigh I will notice when the dog lies down on her/his side and closes her/his eyes. We now have a relaxed dog. Maybe this dog who was running, jumping, barking and panting just a few minutes ago, can feel relaxed for the first time in years. When this happens I am filled with gratitude for my beloved teachers. As you know, my beloved teachers are dogs. When I imitate the behaviour of a stable pack leader, all dogs recognize the signals and respond to it accordingly. Why would they not respond? I am speaking to them in their language, which is of course body language.
One day I received a magnificent present from a dog that had bitten his carers several times. When I visited my clients, they were eager to show me their wounds. The dog showed me something else. He showed me he was eager to learn and he responded immediately to me. I could do everything I wanted to do with him. Although I had never seen him before it was as if we had known each other for a long time. Unfortunately the clients did not get the same response from their dog, as they had difficulties implementing what I suggested.
A few months later I got an urgent message from the same clients telling me:
We need your help because we do have a big problem with Bobby. During our evening walk we were just standing with Bobby on the lead, when suddenly Bobby decided, as he does quite regularly, to jump up and bite our hands and arms.
Immediately upon entering the home of my clients I felt the dog was asking me urgently for help. While I was looking at him out of the corner of my eye, he was sitting right in front of me. He did not move, but was sitting still like a statue. That moment I felt I could do something unusual with him. I faced the sitting dog, looked in his eyes, while very slowly bending my body forwards. The dog gazed into my eyes for a few seconds, averted his look and lied down.
I was so grateful for the trust he put in me, I could have cuddled him. But I did not do it. I kept my calm assertive energy vibrant in the room and looked at my clients. I saw the surprise on their faces. Here they had a dog that is biting them, while this man who calls himself a dog listener only has to look at their pet in order to make him lie down.
(((I have to warn you here: If you are not a professional, please do not do this with any dog because you might get in serious trouble. What I did was not an innocent game. It was the result of decades of experience and of a deep feeling of understanding between an experienced human and a trusting animal.)))
Back home I did send my clients an email message, adding a list of rules to be observed by them when dealing with their pet.
A few days later they replied how they were doing their best and.... how they were making exceptions to my rules.
I am not going to say I felt like a MAD DOG, but I felt angry and agitated.
These clients have a real dangerous situation at home (Had they forgotten how they had written to me: When we came home from the walk our arms and hands were covered in blood) and nevertheless they are, like Cesar Milan writes, happily paddling down the river of denial.
Denial is a powerful force in human lives. For some of us, our dogs become projections of our own Egos and we see them the way we want to see ourselves. However, until we see ourselves the way we really are, we cannot help our dogs. One of the hardest things for any human being to do is to admit a mistake and change a behaviour. Most clients keep on telling me how nice their dog is and how they adore her/him. At the same time they are blaming their pets for the unresolved issues in their own lives. For me as an observer it is obvious they are avoiding these issues or are unaware of them.
If you are having difficulties with your dog, the first thing to do is take a good, honest look within. The second thing you have to do is to cultivate calm assertive energy.
If clients are not willing to do that, it becomes very difficult for me to help them.
But if you have the courage and the consistency to travel on the road of personal development, there will be very positive changes not only in the life with your dog, but most of all in the life you lead with yourself and with anyone around you.
But I do not want to talk about junkies who are in denial with their addiction. Today I am writing to you about the denial I see in some of my clients.
Understanding what my dogs tell me, gives me a warm feeling of satisfaction. Noticing how they understand what I want, fills my heart with friendship and love for them.
Have you ever had similar feelings?
When I visit clients, I often experience positive vibrations between myself and their dogs. Strangely enough many clients call their pet a MAD dog. It fills my heart with pure joy when I see how these so-called MAD dogs respond positively to my body language. Often I can notice the asking look in their eyes, telling me clearly:
I Am Not Mad; I Am In A Position Where I Do Not Want To Be. Please Help Me. I Do Not Get The Leadership I Want.
Sometimes the carers of the dog see the changes in their pet a few minutes after my arrival. They might say things like: We have never seen our dog like this with visitors. The process might take a few minutes, or it might take an hour, but without talking to the dog, without touching and without looking at her/him, I am telling this stressed animal:
You do not have to worry anymore. I am in charge now. You can relax.
As soon as the dog gets the message (s)he will become calmer, lie down and then I can wait for something that makes me really happy. That something is a deep sigh I will notice when the dog lies down on her/his side and closes her/his eyes. We now have a relaxed dog. Maybe this dog who was running, jumping, barking and panting just a few minutes ago, can feel relaxed for the first time in years. When this happens I am filled with gratitude for my beloved teachers. As you know, my beloved teachers are dogs. When I imitate the behaviour of a stable pack leader, all dogs recognize the signals and respond to it accordingly. Why would they not respond? I am speaking to them in their language, which is of course body language.
One day I received a magnificent present from a dog that had bitten his carers several times. When I visited my clients, they were eager to show me their wounds. The dog showed me something else. He showed me he was eager to learn and he responded immediately to me. I could do everything I wanted to do with him. Although I had never seen him before it was as if we had known each other for a long time. Unfortunately the clients did not get the same response from their dog, as they had difficulties implementing what I suggested.
A few months later I got an urgent message from the same clients telling me:
We need your help because we do have a big problem with Bobby. During our evening walk we were just standing with Bobby on the lead, when suddenly Bobby decided, as he does quite regularly, to jump up and bite our hands and arms.
Immediately upon entering the home of my clients I felt the dog was asking me urgently for help. While I was looking at him out of the corner of my eye, he was sitting right in front of me. He did not move, but was sitting still like a statue. That moment I felt I could do something unusual with him. I faced the sitting dog, looked in his eyes, while very slowly bending my body forwards. The dog gazed into my eyes for a few seconds, averted his look and lied down.
I was so grateful for the trust he put in me, I could have cuddled him. But I did not do it. I kept my calm assertive energy vibrant in the room and looked at my clients. I saw the surprise on their faces. Here they had a dog that is biting them, while this man who calls himself a dog listener only has to look at their pet in order to make him lie down.
(((I have to warn you here: If you are not a professional, please do not do this with any dog because you might get in serious trouble. What I did was not an innocent game. It was the result of decades of experience and of a deep feeling of understanding between an experienced human and a trusting animal.)))
Back home I did send my clients an email message, adding a list of rules to be observed by them when dealing with their pet.
A few days later they replied how they were doing their best and.... how they were making exceptions to my rules.
I am not going to say I felt like a MAD DOG, but I felt angry and agitated.
These clients have a real dangerous situation at home (Had they forgotten how they had written to me: When we came home from the walk our arms and hands were covered in blood) and nevertheless they are, like Cesar Milan writes, happily paddling down the river of denial.
Denial is a powerful force in human lives. For some of us, our dogs become projections of our own Egos and we see them the way we want to see ourselves. However, until we see ourselves the way we really are, we cannot help our dogs. One of the hardest things for any human being to do is to admit a mistake and change a behaviour. Most clients keep on telling me how nice their dog is and how they adore her/him. At the same time they are blaming their pets for the unresolved issues in their own lives. For me as an observer it is obvious they are avoiding these issues or are unaware of them.
If you are having difficulties with your dog, the first thing to do is take a good, honest look within. The second thing you have to do is to cultivate calm assertive energy.
If clients are not willing to do that, it becomes very difficult for me to help them.
But if you have the courage and the consistency to travel on the road of personal development, there will be very positive changes not only in the life with your dog, but most of all in the life you lead with yourself and with anyone around you.
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