Thank you Brother Peter Mayson for sending me this text from the Noetic Sciences Review Spring 1996
In the Service of Life
In recent years the question how can I help? has become meaningful to many
people. But perhaps there is a deeper question we might consider. Perhaps
the real question is not how can I help? but how can I serve?
Serving is different from helping. Helping is based on inequality; it is not
a relationship between equals. When you help you use your own strength to
help those of lesser strength. If I'm attentive to what's going on inside of
me when I'm helping, I find that I'm always helping someone who's not as
strong as I am, who is needier than I am. People feel this inequality. When
we help we may inadvertently take away from people more than we could ever
give them; we may diminish their self-esteem, their sense of worth,
integrity and wholeness. When I help I am very aware of my own strength. But
we don't serve with our strength, we serve with ourselves. We draw from all
of our experiences. Our limitations serve, our wounds serve, even our
darkness can serve. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and
the wholeness in life. The wholeness in you is the same as the wholeness in
me. Service is a relationship between equals.
Helping incurs debt. When you help someone they owe you one. But serving,
like healing, is mutual. There is no debt. I am as served as the person I am
serving. When I help I have a feeling of satisfaction. When I serve I have a
feeling of gratitude. These are very different things.
Serving is also different from fixing. When I fix a person I perceive them
as broken, and their brokenness requires me to act. When I fix I do not see
the wholeness in the other person or trust the integrity of the life in
them. When I serve I see and trust that wholeness. It is what I am
responding to and collaborating with.
There is distance between ourselves and whatever or whomever we are fixing.
Fixing is a form of judgment. All judgment creates distance, a
disconnection, an experience of difference. In fixing there is an inequality
of expertise that can easily become a moral distance. We cannot serve at a
distance. We can only serve that to which we are profoundly connected, that
which we are willing to touch. This is Mother Teresa's basic message. We
serve life not because it is broken but because it is holy.
If helping is an experience of strength, fixing is an experience of mastery
and expertise. Service, on the other hand, is an experience of mystery,
surrender and awe. A fixer has the illusion of being causal. A server knows
that he or she is being used and has a willingness to be used in the service
of something greater, something essentially unknown. Fixing and helping are
very personal; they are very particular, concrete and specific. We fix and
help many different things in our lifetimes, but when we serve we are always
serving the same thing. Everyone who has ever served through the history of
time serves the same thing. We are servers of the wholeness and mystery in
life.
The bottom line, of course, is that we can fix without serving. And we can
help without serving. And we can serve without fixing or helping. I think I
would go so far as to say that fixing and helping may often be the work of
the ego, and service the work of the soul. They may look similar if you're
watching from the outside, but the inner experience is different. The
outcome is often different, too.
Our service serves us as well as others. That which uses us strengthens us.
Over time, fixing and helping are draining, depleting. Over time we burn
out. Service is renewing. When we serve, our work itself will sustain us.
Service rests on the basic premise that the nature of life is sacred, that
life is a holy mystery which has an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know
that we belong to life and to that purpose. Fundamentally, helping, fixing
and service are ways of seeing life. When you help you see life as weak,
when you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole.
>From the perspective of service, we are all connected: All suffering is like
my suffering and all joy is like my joy. The impulse to serve emerges
naturally and inevitably from this way of seeing.
Lastly, fixing and helping are the basis of curing, but not of healing. In
40 years of chronic illness I have been helped by many people and fixed by a
great many others who did not recognize my wholeness. All that fixing and
helping left me wounded in some important and fundamental ways. Only service
heals.
(Reprinted from Noetic Sciences Review, Spring 1996)
Peter Mayson
Analyst Programmer
GT - Retail Product Technology
Nedbank Wealth
You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
57 Heerengracht, Cape Town
Tel:+27 (0)21 412 3913
Monday, May 30, 2011
Closing Cycles/Walk Rafol d'Almunia
Two messages.
One coming from Suzanne and the other from Susan.
Dear Bruno,
I opened my email after you left and found the following message in my inbox. On reading it it resonated very strongly with me for there is a connection between these words and your visit of this morning. I am aware that my dog Guado is the catelist of something greater and it is up to me to take up this opportunity and "Stop being who I was, and change into who I am." As the saying goes - when you're ready the teacher will appear...So thank you for your insights and guidance, may I be able to fully digest and integrate them!
With gratitude.
Suzanne (BTW not Susan but SuZanne :)
Closing Cycles - Paulo Coelho
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the
happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it,
what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job?
Has a loving relationship come to an end?
Did you leave your parents' house?
Gone to live abroad?
Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us.
What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go.
Release them.
Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.
Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment."
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles.
Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
Walk/Caminata Rafol d'Almunia 05.06.2011
Bruno
On Sunday we can walk from Rafol de Almumia. We will meet at the Piscina bar and we can walk from there and obviously return for drinks/breakfast for those who wish. The walk will be just over one hour through orange groves with the first 15/20 mins on a road where dogs will need to be close to their partners due to cars using this road.
To find the Piscina bar in Rafol people coming from Sagra will need to pass the village and then turn left and head back into the village. Then take the next right. You will see the Piscina bar on your right down a nice pasaeo however to get to the car park you will need to carry on to the junction turn right and immediately right again. This takes you to the car park at the back of the bar. Similarily for those coming from Benimeli they will need to turn right into the village at the start of the village and follow the same directions
If you need anything else please let me know.
Regards
Susan
Sent from my iPhone with love
One coming from Suzanne and the other from Susan.
Dear Bruno,
I opened my email after you left and found the following message in my inbox. On reading it it resonated very strongly with me for there is a connection between these words and your visit of this morning. I am aware that my dog Guado is the catelist of something greater and it is up to me to take up this opportunity and "Stop being who I was, and change into who I am." As the saying goes - when you're ready the teacher will appear...So thank you for your insights and guidance, may I be able to fully digest and integrate them!
With gratitude.
Suzanne (BTW not Susan but SuZanne :)
Closing Cycles - Paulo Coelho
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the
happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it,
what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job?
Has a loving relationship come to an end?
Did you leave your parents' house?
Gone to live abroad?
Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us.
What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go.
Release them.
Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.
Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment."
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles.
Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
Walk/Caminata Rafol d'Almunia 05.06.2011
Bruno
On Sunday we can walk from Rafol de Almumia. We will meet at the Piscina bar and we can walk from there and obviously return for drinks/breakfast for those who wish. The walk will be just over one hour through orange groves with the first 15/20 mins on a road where dogs will need to be close to their partners due to cars using this road.
To find the Piscina bar in Rafol people coming from Sagra will need to pass the village and then turn left and head back into the village. Then take the next right. You will see the Piscina bar on your right down a nice pasaeo however to get to the car park you will need to carry on to the junction turn right and immediately right again. This takes you to the car park at the back of the bar. Similarily for those coming from Benimeli they will need to turn right into the village at the start of the village and follow the same directions
If you need anything else please let me know.
Regards
Susan
Sent from my iPhone with love
Poison warning
Hi Bruno.
I was informed last night by a Spanish friend that during the month of June I must not walk Elsa in the mountains around Benichembla as the hunters have put poison down, they are targetting dogs as they believe dogs disturb nesting game birds. I dont know if other hunting groups have the same mentallity as those in Benichembla, but I think it most likely it applies to all of this area.
Can you pass the warning on to everybody with dogs, sorry I only have your email address, so I am not able post the warning myself.
Regards Dave.
I was informed last night by a Spanish friend that during the month of June I must not walk Elsa in the mountains around Benichembla as the hunters have put poison down, they are targetting dogs as they believe dogs disturb nesting game birds. I dont know if other hunting groups have the same mentallity as those in Benichembla, but I think it most likely it applies to all of this area.
Can you pass the warning on to everybody with dogs, sorry I only have your email address, so I am not able post the warning myself.
Regards Dave.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Poetry from Sue
MAY I GO ?
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go. I really do
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so much for loving me.
You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.
FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND
You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.
Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady cat,
My pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.
I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young one once again.
Author - Karen Clouston
IF IT SHOULD BE.
If it should be I grow frail and weak
And pain should wake me from my sleep,
Then you should do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
Dont' let your grief then stay your hand,
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stand the test.
We've had so many happy years,
What is to come will hold no fears,
You'll not want me to suffer, so,
When the time comes, please let me go.
I know in time you too will see,
It is a kindness you do for me.
Although my tail it's last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Do not grieve that it should be you,
Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close,we two,these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
THE RAINBOW BRIDGE
The real Rainbow Bridge is near Lake Powell, Arizona.
It is a sacred Indian stone bridge. The legend says:
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal
dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to
Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run
and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our
friends are warm and comfortable. All of the animals who had been ill or
old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are
made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days
and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small
thing: they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left
behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops
and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; her eager body
quivers. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green
grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster. You have been spotted, and
when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous
reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face,
your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the
trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent
from your heart.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together....
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go. I really do
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so much for loving me.
You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.
FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND
You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.
Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady cat,
My pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.
I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young one once again.
Author - Karen Clouston
IF IT SHOULD BE.
If it should be I grow frail and weak
And pain should wake me from my sleep,
Then you should do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
Dont' let your grief then stay your hand,
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stand the test.
We've had so many happy years,
What is to come will hold no fears,
You'll not want me to suffer, so,
When the time comes, please let me go.
I know in time you too will see,
It is a kindness you do for me.
Although my tail it's last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Do not grieve that it should be you,
Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close,we two,these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
THE RAINBOW BRIDGE
The real Rainbow Bridge is near Lake Powell, Arizona.
It is a sacred Indian stone bridge. The legend says:
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal
dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to
Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run
and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our
friends are warm and comfortable. All of the animals who had been ill or
old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are
made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days
and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small
thing: they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left
behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops
and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; her eager body
quivers. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green
grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster. You have been spotted, and
when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous
reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face,
your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the
trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent
from your heart.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together....
Friday, May 27, 2011
Encontra el maltrato de animales/ Stop abuse of animals
SÁBADO 28 de MAYO a las 18:30 h, Plaza del Ayuntamiento de VALENCIA
Queridos amigos, este es el tercer año que vamos a salir a la calle a pedir justicia, el tercer año que vamos a salir en recuerdo de Regina, nuestra querida Regina… torturada, violada y asesinada en nuestro refugio.
No la olvidamos, y no vamos a permitir que estos hechos caigan en el olvido de nadie.
...Nuestros animales sufren ante leyes ridículas, estamos en el país del “todo vale”, tauromaquia, experimentación, maltrato, abandonos,..
Ya está bien, ya está bien de que sea más fácil dañar a un animal que protegerlo.
Este 28 de Mayo nos reuniremos en Valencia para manifestarnos en contra del maltrato animal, sea de la especie que sea, en una fecha especial y dolorosa para nosotros, el aniversario de la muerte de Regina.
Os pedimos a todos máxima difusión y ante todo, vuestra asistencia, tenemos que estar unidos y apoyar todas las iniciativas a favor de nuestros animales.
Un fuerte abrazo, Ribercan.
Video manifestación 2010:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=400930720605
EL CASO DE REGINA
Por Regina, porque estas cosas no sucedan de nuevo, porque se pare a este tipo de personas y las administraciones e instituciones que pueden hacer algo no se queden quietas y apoyen a las asociaciones en este tipo de casos, y sobre todo para que no se quede en el olvido, por ella y otros muchos animales que mueren diariamente sin que se castigue a nadie, víctimas del maltrato animal.
No les bastó con llevarse a tres perros de las instalaciones (dos han aparecido, uno por los alrededores y otra tirada por la valla), abrir varias jaulas, destrozar varias vallas para acceder dentro, sino que los salvajes éstos, cogieron a nuestra Regina, ataron sus patas con alambre (el cual no estaba cuando nosotros llegamos), abusaron sexualmente de ella, le introdujeron una fruta en su orificio anal y le golpearon salvajemente en la cabeza hasta que el pobre animal no tuvo fuerzas para resistir y falleció en un charco de sangre, de esta forma tan inhumana, salvaje y cruel.
No dejemos que esto vuelva a suceder.
APOYAD NUESTRA PRÓXIMA MANIFESTACIÓN CONTRA EL MALTRATO ANIMAL, RECORDANDO ENTRE TANTOS EL CASO DE REGINA!
SÁBADO 28 DE MAYO A LAS 18:30H EN LA PLAZA DEL AYUNTAMIENTO DE VALENCIA
POR FAVOR, PÁSALO A TUS CONTACTOS (recuerda: CCO)
RIBERCAN -
www.protectoradecarcaixent.com
Queridos amigos, este es el tercer año que vamos a salir a la calle a pedir justicia, el tercer año que vamos a salir en recuerdo de Regina, nuestra querida Regina… torturada, violada y asesinada en nuestro refugio.
No la olvidamos, y no vamos a permitir que estos hechos caigan en el olvido de nadie.
...Nuestros animales sufren ante leyes ridículas, estamos en el país del “todo vale”, tauromaquia, experimentación, maltrato, abandonos,..
Ya está bien, ya está bien de que sea más fácil dañar a un animal que protegerlo.
Este 28 de Mayo nos reuniremos en Valencia para manifestarnos en contra del maltrato animal, sea de la especie que sea, en una fecha especial y dolorosa para nosotros, el aniversario de la muerte de Regina.
Os pedimos a todos máxima difusión y ante todo, vuestra asistencia, tenemos que estar unidos y apoyar todas las iniciativas a favor de nuestros animales.
Un fuerte abrazo, Ribercan.
Video manifestación 2010:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=400930720605
EL CASO DE REGINA
Por Regina, porque estas cosas no sucedan de nuevo, porque se pare a este tipo de personas y las administraciones e instituciones que pueden hacer algo no se queden quietas y apoyen a las asociaciones en este tipo de casos, y sobre todo para que no se quede en el olvido, por ella y otros muchos animales que mueren diariamente sin que se castigue a nadie, víctimas del maltrato animal.
No les bastó con llevarse a tres perros de las instalaciones (dos han aparecido, uno por los alrededores y otra tirada por la valla), abrir varias jaulas, destrozar varias vallas para acceder dentro, sino que los salvajes éstos, cogieron a nuestra Regina, ataron sus patas con alambre (el cual no estaba cuando nosotros llegamos), abusaron sexualmente de ella, le introdujeron una fruta en su orificio anal y le golpearon salvajemente en la cabeza hasta que el pobre animal no tuvo fuerzas para resistir y falleció en un charco de sangre, de esta forma tan inhumana, salvaje y cruel.
No dejemos que esto vuelva a suceder.
APOYAD NUESTRA PRÓXIMA MANIFESTACIÓN CONTRA EL MALTRATO ANIMAL, RECORDANDO ENTRE TANTOS EL CASO DE REGINA!
SÁBADO 28 DE MAYO A LAS 18:30H EN LA PLAZA DEL AYUNTAMIENTO DE VALENCIA
POR FAVOR, PÁSALO A TUS CONTACTOS (recuerda: CCO)
RIBERCAN -
www.protectoradecarcaixent.com
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Linda's comments / Parcent
Dear friends,
Thank you Linda for the nice walk you organized for us last Sunday. According to me it was sufficiently long but not too long, and it was sufficiently hot, but not too hot.
Having asked Linda's permission to publish her comments, here they are underneath. I am particularly fascinated by the fact that Linda discovered the part played by her energy and how she discovered it thanks to her dog.
Hi Bruno
I really enjoyed our chat aswell. It was great to talk to someone with such an interesting personal journey and I especially love the more spiritual side of things and love learning more personally and about my dog.
We shall definitely join the walk again as my daughter and I really enjoyed seeing our dog having such a good sociable time, and as an only dog I think that it is so important for her to have contact with a "pack" and it defiantly seems to ground her.
In my work I have many clients, and have already recommended someone to you that has a beautiful good natured golden retriever that one day for some reason took a disliking to a small dog and injured it seriously. Hopefully she will contact you in order to understand her role in the situation and move on after this stressful experience, as her anxiety is evident, and stops her enjoying him, and he no longer has his freedom which is a shame. I have spoken to many people about the walk and will recommend you for anyone that needs some guidance and direction with their dogs.
Regards
See you soon
Linda
Hi Bruno
What interesting tales you have..........
So what you are saying is that there is hope for us all !!!!!! That is reassuring....
I desperately wanted a dog as a child, and my dream had always been to be in the Crufts show ring with an extremely well trained farm bred Border Collie., (not too specific a?) but my parents weren't really animal lovers and didn't trust my commitment. So to show them how serious I was, I took my neighbours collie cross dog for daily walks for 6+ years. I adored her and spent many hours training and having fun with her but she wasn't mine and my dream was to have my own. So finally after years of begging I broke my parents by learning "How much is that doggie in the window" on the piano and playing it incessantly, that coupled with buying collars and leads to decorate my bedroom, my parents became concerned about my psychological wellbeing and said that I could have my own dog. A border Collie was too big and needed too much stimulation and exercise, and my mother was house proud so I had to choose a dog that didn't moult. So I had a Yorkshire terrier called Peri. We went to many training classes, and in hindsight he was the pack leader so as I had no status in the pack, he chose what he was going to do and when. I put it down to his breed as all the "best" dogs were German Shepherds, Labs and large dogs. There was no Bruno Goffin and Cesar Milan in those days!
When my daughter reached 12, it was like history repeating itself, and I wanted my children to have the wonderful growing up experiences that I had had with my dog. So we got Jaz. She has a wonderful character and was trained to a basic level when we got her. I saw how she behaved with her previous owner and thought how lucky we were, however once she was with us the story was very different. She ran off and came back when she felt like it, "forgot" how to walk to heel etc. etc. but interestingly when we went for a walk with her previous owner and dogs she behaved so well again. I then realised that it wasn't her.. it was me/us. So I started reading everything that I could on the internet and books and watched 3 episodes of Cesar Milan on canal Cuatro every Sat and Sunday.
I then became very fascinated and passionate about my energy discovery, and our wonderful dog lead me onto the next road of my personal development journey. So basically I took over. Fulfilling all my own childhood and personal needs. (gosh it seems like I may need some counselling!!)
Ella still plays a great role in the care of her and we look after her between us, but as I am the one that disciplines her, she always prefers to be with me. This is really upsetting for Ella who now is feeling the there is no point in a dog that doesn't want to be with her. She gets very frustrated when walking her as she cant let her off the lead so we bought a stretchy one for her to have more freedom. I have explained to Ella that she needs to make her walk with a loose lead and then give her permission to have freedom with the stretchy one etc etc, (but I am sure that you remember what teenagers are like) .... She knows best.... and refuses to listen, and it makes me sad to see her missing out on so much.
Therefore next time we go on a walk I would really appreciate it if you could have a quiet chat with her and give her a bit of advice. I know that she really wants to improve her relationship with our dog and would listen to you and take on board your suggestions.
Thanks a lot, have a lovely time with your family and grandchildren,
See you soon,
Regards Linda.
As far as our next walk is concerned
This coming Sunday 29.05.2011 I want to take you along, starting at 10.00 from the chicken shed in Parcent. My dogs have shown me a different link where we have never been before. It will be rather flat, about 1,5 hours long and according to the weather forecast on the U3A-Val del Pop website, 5 degrees cooler than today (Wednesday 25.05)
I am sending love and light to you and your dogs.
Bruno
Thank you Linda for the nice walk you organized for us last Sunday. According to me it was sufficiently long but not too long, and it was sufficiently hot, but not too hot.
Having asked Linda's permission to publish her comments, here they are underneath. I am particularly fascinated by the fact that Linda discovered the part played by her energy and how she discovered it thanks to her dog.
Hi Bruno
I really enjoyed our chat aswell. It was great to talk to someone with such an interesting personal journey and I especially love the more spiritual side of things and love learning more personally and about my dog.
We shall definitely join the walk again as my daughter and I really enjoyed seeing our dog having such a good sociable time, and as an only dog I think that it is so important for her to have contact with a "pack" and it defiantly seems to ground her.
In my work I have many clients, and have already recommended someone to you that has a beautiful good natured golden retriever that one day for some reason took a disliking to a small dog and injured it seriously. Hopefully she will contact you in order to understand her role in the situation and move on after this stressful experience, as her anxiety is evident, and stops her enjoying him, and he no longer has his freedom which is a shame. I have spoken to many people about the walk and will recommend you for anyone that needs some guidance and direction with their dogs.
Regards
See you soon
Linda
Hi Bruno
What interesting tales you have..........
So what you are saying is that there is hope for us all !!!!!! That is reassuring....
I desperately wanted a dog as a child, and my dream had always been to be in the Crufts show ring with an extremely well trained farm bred Border Collie., (not too specific a?) but my parents weren't really animal lovers and didn't trust my commitment. So to show them how serious I was, I took my neighbours collie cross dog for daily walks for 6+ years. I adored her and spent many hours training and having fun with her but she wasn't mine and my dream was to have my own. So finally after years of begging I broke my parents by learning "How much is that doggie in the window" on the piano and playing it incessantly, that coupled with buying collars and leads to decorate my bedroom, my parents became concerned about my psychological wellbeing and said that I could have my own dog. A border Collie was too big and needed too much stimulation and exercise, and my mother was house proud so I had to choose a dog that didn't moult. So I had a Yorkshire terrier called Peri. We went to many training classes, and in hindsight he was the pack leader so as I had no status in the pack, he chose what he was going to do and when. I put it down to his breed as all the "best" dogs were German Shepherds, Labs and large dogs. There was no Bruno Goffin and Cesar Milan in those days!
When my daughter reached 12, it was like history repeating itself, and I wanted my children to have the wonderful growing up experiences that I had had with my dog. So we got Jaz. She has a wonderful character and was trained to a basic level when we got her. I saw how she behaved with her previous owner and thought how lucky we were, however once she was with us the story was very different. She ran off and came back when she felt like it, "forgot" how to walk to heel etc. etc. but interestingly when we went for a walk with her previous owner and dogs she behaved so well again. I then realised that it wasn't her.. it was me/us. So I started reading everything that I could on the internet and books and watched 3 episodes of Cesar Milan on canal Cuatro every Sat and Sunday.
I then became very fascinated and passionate about my energy discovery, and our wonderful dog lead me onto the next road of my personal development journey. So basically I took over. Fulfilling all my own childhood and personal needs. (gosh it seems like I may need some counselling!!)
Ella still plays a great role in the care of her and we look after her between us, but as I am the one that disciplines her, she always prefers to be with me. This is really upsetting for Ella who now is feeling the there is no point in a dog that doesn't want to be with her. She gets very frustrated when walking her as she cant let her off the lead so we bought a stretchy one for her to have more freedom. I have explained to Ella that she needs to make her walk with a loose lead and then give her permission to have freedom with the stretchy one etc etc, (but I am sure that you remember what teenagers are like) .... She knows best.... and refuses to listen, and it makes me sad to see her missing out on so much.
Therefore next time we go on a walk I would really appreciate it if you could have a quiet chat with her and give her a bit of advice. I know that she really wants to improve her relationship with our dog and would listen to you and take on board your suggestions.
Thanks a lot, have a lovely time with your family and grandchildren,
See you soon,
Regards Linda.
As far as our next walk is concerned
This coming Sunday 29.05.2011 I want to take you along, starting at 10.00 from the chicken shed in Parcent. My dogs have shown me a different link where we have never been before. It will be rather flat, about 1,5 hours long and according to the weather forecast on the U3A-Val del Pop website, 5 degrees cooler than today (Wednesday 25.05)
I am sending love and light to you and your dogs.
Bruno
Saturday, May 21, 2011
797777 warning/advertencia
Querida/o amiga/o,
Hoy no quiero escribir algo sobre educación canina pero me gustería contarte algo sobre mis experiencias con el numero de teléfono 797777.
He sido la victima de ladrones que utilizan la tecnología del teléfono movil para sacar dinero de mi tarjeta prepagada.
Me explico.
Hace unos dias me he dado cuenta que, poco despues de haber recargado mi movil, mi saldo se encontraba de repente a 0 €.
Puès he recargado mi movil de nuevo y en dos dias se ha bajado mi saldo otra vez a 0 €. Pero imaginate que ésto se ha producido mientras tanto que yo mismo no había hecho ninguna llamada.
Lo raro era que había recibido un monton de mensajes de parte del numero 797777. Intentando de ver el contenido de los mensajes solo he podido leer un texto diciendome "es imposible de abrir el mensaje".
Hoy he visitado la tienda de Movistar en Benissa.
La empleada me ha dicho tres cosas:
1. En primer lugar que lo que ha pasado no era la culpa de Movistar.
2. La unica cosa que se puede hacer, para protegerse contra éste robo, es dar de baja el numero 797777, llamando al numero 1004 de Movistar.
3. Que ella misma y su hermana también han sido las victimas de los mismos ladrones.
Conosco éste refrán en Español: Un hombre advertido vale dos.
Ahora lo sabes.
¿Si has tenido experiencias similares me lo dices?
Un abrazo de Bruno.
Dear friends,
Today I am not writing about canine education.
I want to inform you about my experience with the phone number 797777.
A few days ago I noticed that the saldo of my pre-paid mobile phone was reduced to 0 euros. I recharged my phone and within 2 days the saldo was gone again. This was very strange because I had not made any phone calls myself.
But something else had happened. I had received a whole series of messages coming from number 797777. When I opened these messages a few times the text was: "Message cannot be displayed".
In order to file a complaint I went to the Movistar shop in Benissa.
The employee told me three things:
1. What had happened was not the fault of Movistar.
2. Her advice was to cancel (dar de baja) the number 797777 by calling Movistar 1004.
3. She herself and her sister had also lost money to the number 797777.
You have been warned.
If you have had similar experiences I'd like to hear from you. Please drop me a line.
Kindest regards from Brunothedoglistener.
Hoy no quiero escribir algo sobre educación canina pero me gustería contarte algo sobre mis experiencias con el numero de teléfono 797777.
He sido la victima de ladrones que utilizan la tecnología del teléfono movil para sacar dinero de mi tarjeta prepagada.
Me explico.
Hace unos dias me he dado cuenta que, poco despues de haber recargado mi movil, mi saldo se encontraba de repente a 0 €.
Puès he recargado mi movil de nuevo y en dos dias se ha bajado mi saldo otra vez a 0 €. Pero imaginate que ésto se ha producido mientras tanto que yo mismo no había hecho ninguna llamada.
Lo raro era que había recibido un monton de mensajes de parte del numero 797777. Intentando de ver el contenido de los mensajes solo he podido leer un texto diciendome "es imposible de abrir el mensaje".
Hoy he visitado la tienda de Movistar en Benissa.
La empleada me ha dicho tres cosas:
1. En primer lugar que lo que ha pasado no era la culpa de Movistar.
2. La unica cosa que se puede hacer, para protegerse contra éste robo, es dar de baja el numero 797777, llamando al numero 1004 de Movistar.
3. Que ella misma y su hermana también han sido las victimas de los mismos ladrones.
Conosco éste refrán en Español: Un hombre advertido vale dos.
Ahora lo sabes.
¿Si has tenido experiencias similares me lo dices?
Un abrazo de Bruno.
Dear friends,
Today I am not writing about canine education.
I want to inform you about my experience with the phone number 797777.
A few days ago I noticed that the saldo of my pre-paid mobile phone was reduced to 0 euros. I recharged my phone and within 2 days the saldo was gone again. This was very strange because I had not made any phone calls myself.
But something else had happened. I had received a whole series of messages coming from number 797777. When I opened these messages a few times the text was: "Message cannot be displayed".
In order to file a complaint I went to the Movistar shop in Benissa.
The employee told me three things:
1. What had happened was not the fault of Movistar.
2. Her advice was to cancel (dar de baja) the number 797777 by calling Movistar 1004.
3. She herself and her sister had also lost money to the number 797777.
You have been warned.
If you have had similar experiences I'd like to hear from you. Please drop me a line.
Kindest regards from Brunothedoglistener.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
CaminataWalk Jesus Pobre 22.05.2011
Queridas/os amigas/os, dear friends,
Back from beautiful La Douce France and from basking in the love of my daughter and granddaughter, I am now ready for the walk that has been prepared for us by Linda.
I am also ready for more comments coming from you and am looking forward to more friends opening up their souls. I must say I am not surprised but I have to say that until now I have only received comments from lady friends.
Writing as a man amongst men I am saying : men where are you?
I will meet ye'all in Jesus Pobre on Sunday 22.05.2011 at 10.00. Hope Linda has found us a good bar in the area. Read her directions and all about a new English word underneath.
Parking at the Marriott isn't an option as it is too far away. So directions are:- Go past the Marriott Hotel towards Javea, Take the right turn to Jesus Pobre. The road has a couple of bends and after a few hundred meters there are a row of bins with a track between the bins and a black and white raoT sign. (take care crossing as it is a bit of a blind bend) Follow the track down until you get to a small green road name sign and park there.
Just in case you thought that you had discovered a new English word. raoT sign should read "road sign".
Linda.
As we have not seen them for a while I want to inform you about our friends Yasmina and Carlos. They have both found new jobs that also keep them busy over the weekends.
Un abrazo de Bruno
Back from beautiful La Douce France and from basking in the love of my daughter and granddaughter, I am now ready for the walk that has been prepared for us by Linda.
I am also ready for more comments coming from you and am looking forward to more friends opening up their souls. I must say I am not surprised but I have to say that until now I have only received comments from lady friends.
Writing as a man amongst men I am saying : men where are you?
I will meet ye'all in Jesus Pobre on Sunday 22.05.2011 at 10.00. Hope Linda has found us a good bar in the area. Read her directions and all about a new English word underneath.
Parking at the Marriott isn't an option as it is too far away. So directions are:- Go past the Marriott Hotel towards Javea, Take the right turn to Jesus Pobre. The road has a couple of bends and after a few hundred meters there are a row of bins with a track between the bins and a black and white raoT sign. (take care crossing as it is a bit of a blind bend) Follow the track down until you get to a small green road name sign and park there.
Just in case you thought that you had discovered a new English word. raoT sign should read "road sign".
Linda.
As we have not seen them for a while I want to inform you about our friends Yasmina and Carlos. They have both found new jobs that also keep them busy over the weekends.
Un abrazo de Bruno
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Charity Fun Dog Show
CHARITY FUN DOG SHOW IN AID OF AKIRA ANIMAL CHARITY
TO BE HELD ON SATURDAY, 14TH MAY 2011
AT LA SOLANA KENNELS, JALON
REGISTRATION 13:00 Show starts 14:00 -3eu per class, 2 classes for 5eu
BEST six legs, best fancy dress, waggiest tail, veteran, puppy, children’s handling etc. ETC. plus: pedigree classes – rosettes and prizes
B.B.Q, tea and coffee, hotdogs, cakes etc Trade stands From 11:00
Further info Contact Elaine at BOBSYDNY@YAHOO.CO.UK OR TEL 965973822/ 660814083
TO BE HELD ON SATURDAY, 14TH MAY 2011
AT LA SOLANA KENNELS, JALON
REGISTRATION 13:00 Show starts 14:00 -3eu per class, 2 classes for 5eu
BEST six legs, best fancy dress, waggiest tail, veteran, puppy, children’s handling etc. ETC. plus: pedigree classes – rosettes and prizes
B.B.Q, tea and coffee, hotdogs, cakes etc Trade stands From 11:00
Further info Contact Elaine at BOBSYDNY@YAHOO.CO.UK OR TEL 965973822/ 660814083
Socrates
Eva Schoenfeld did send me the following story.
Having read it I get the impression Socrates was an MKP brother avant la lettre.
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.
One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."
" Test of Three?"
" That's correct," Socrates responded.
"Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.
Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued, "You may still pass though because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"
The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more.
This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why Socrates never found out that Plato made out with his wife.
Having read it I get the impression Socrates was an MKP brother avant la lettre.
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.
One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."
" Test of Three?"
" That's correct," Socrates responded.
"Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.
Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued, "You may still pass though because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"
The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more.
This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why Socrates never found out that Plato made out with his wife.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sue's comments/Walk 15.05.2011
First of all I am honouring Sue for writing to me.
As I am honouring two more walking friends who asked me to teach them how to walk with a dog on a slack leash.
Thanks to Sue and to the two other friends my blog is not a one way street anymore.
Great!
I am really very happy and very grateful for Sue-s comments because they inspired me.
I could have felt sad, angry, glad, afraid, annoyed, embarrassed, joyful, happy, defeated, frustrated, anxious, etc... As you can see, there is quite a long catalogue of feelings to choose from when someone tells me or writes me something.
But I FEEL glad with the comments and I am responsible for HOW I feel.
Thank you Sue for sending me the following message:
"Well Bruno, I am sure you dont mean to but sometimes if I ask you a question, you answer me in a manner that makes me feel like I am an idiot. The truth is I am frightened to ask you to teach me. Tomorrow I shall bring just one of my dogs & shall ask you to teach me how to walk Billy on a slack leash."
First some preliminary remarks.
1. What I am going to write is only my personal opinion. Opinions are the cheapest commodity on Mother Earth because we all seem to have more than enough opinions about everything.
2. What I am going to write is based upon my own personal experience.
3. What I am going to write is based upon my own personal perception.I am looking through my own eyes. I will never be able to look through the eyes of somebody else. The way I perceive the world is my creation. It means for instance that I can create a positive or a negative world.
4. I do not want to convince anyone of my opinion.
5. I am able to write the following text thanks to the teachings of Eva Schoenfeld, MKP=brothers, my parents, my children, Béatrice Van Kerckhove, martial arts masters and friends, authors like Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Carl Gustav Jung, James Redfield, Rüdiger Dahlke, Don Miguel Ruiz, John Gray, many clients, many friends, many pupils, many other persons and certainly many dogs.
6. Beware because this is going to be a long letter.
You answer in a manner that makes me feel I am an idiot.
Absolutely true if that is your perception Sue.
The major part of my life I have acted and reacted in a similar way, just like Sue does, when she makes me responsible for her feeling.
In the past it was my conviction that other people were not only responsible for my feelings but other people had to make me happy.It was my perception. And this was especially true with the women I married or lived with as if we were married. Unconsciously I expected them to make me happy. I expected them to make me feel good. In order to get to that result I tried to assume how they wanted me to behave. This led me to a behavioural pattern whereby I was continuously constructing an artificial ME. In most cases the ladies, who were supposed to make me happy, did not live up to my expectations. On the contrary. As I fell in love I also could fall out of love. A while after falling in love they were making me unhappy. Or so I thought. So, I blamed them for what they did to me. They were responsible for my happiness and my unhappiness. Or so I thought.
This was how I lived on emotional automatic pilot until I started discovering that I was living a mediocre life as a totally unconscious man. Slowly I learned how to deal with my shadow, which is the hiding place of my human psyche. It is the place where I hide everything I want to negate and repress. For the major part of my life this hiding place of negative energies was totally necessary for me, given the enormous difficulty of facing my darkest impulses and deepest humiliations.
As I expected other people to make me happy, I was constantly unhappy.
I made the other people responsible for my feelings.
Let me give you an example:
One day I told Eva Schoenfeld, my wife whom I loved very much: "If you are happy, I am happy."
The moment I said this to her, she started laughing out loud. I felt disappointed, insulted and unhappy. I did not understand her reaction, not even when she explained it to me.
It took me many years, and a divorce, to discover that I am solely responsible for my own life and for my own feelings. This proces has not ended, as it is an never-ending journey.
Conclusion
Sue, I accept what you write. It certainly can be true that you felt like an idiot, like I felt "unhappy" so many times. But you are responsible for your feelings, like I am responsible for mine. At least, that is my opinion.
I am frightened to ask you to teach me.
I know the feeling Sue. This is the way I felt many times in the former unconscious stage of my life. Fear ruled my life. Certainly my fear of failure and my fear of not being good enough.
Regarding what you write I have felt like that because I assumed the other person would think I was an idiot.
But what I assume is something that I construct in my imagination, based upon my perception. It is not something that really exists. As a matter of fact I continuously assumed lots of things. Until I learned to clearly ask what I wanted.
I will tell you the anecdote of the Iceberg Salad.
One day (I had turned sixty and we must have been married for 2 years) my wife Eva had made a prawn cocktail with iceberg salad. Eating it I did not like the taste and suddenly I had the courage to say: "I do not like it." Eva started laughing and clapping her hands until she could say: "This is the first time you clearly say to me you do not like something I prepared. I am so glad you could do it, because it means an enormous step in your personal development."
I was astonished.
She was not angry.
She did not call me an idiot.
She was glad.
I had always assumed I had to eat what she prepared without telling her clearly what I wanted. When she for instance asked me if I wanted soup or salad, my standard answer had always been "whatever you like my dear".
Eva taught me to say I prefer salad, and...many more things.
Today I still have to make an effort to observe my own behaviour when I am making assumptions. The same goes for asking questions and expressing clearly what I want. Expressing clearly what we want is one of the Four Agreements, a book written by Don Miguel Ruiz: Be as clear as possible when communicating with others in order to avoid misunderstandings and suffering.
This is where the part played by my canine teachers is of the utmost importance.
You see, dogs never make assumptions. Humans do it all the time. We certainly make assumptions about dogs and treat them as if they were human beings. This leads to enormous misunderstandings and enormous suffering of both dogs and humans.
Dogs are very easy to understand because they are so clear in their communications. In addition to that they never blame, judge, criticize or moan.
They offer us unconditional love.
Looking back over 18 years of working as a professional doglistener I am amazed how many of my clients talk themselves down. Many times I have listened to people calling themselves "useless, stupid, good for nothing , etc...
Sometimes I could accompany them on their journey out of that self-made prison of low self-esteem and fear. During that journey the dogs are our guides and I am only the interpreter. Working with dog carers I constantly translate what the dogs are telling me in a human language of words. Unfortunately many clients do not want to grasp the meaning of what their dogs are telling them. I call them the clients sailing down the river of Denial.
I shall ask you to teach me how to walk Billy on a slack leash.
Well Sue, maybe you did not read my letter about "I am not a plumber" or maybe I was not clear enough. By the way, this could be two assumptions but I am not going to make them.
Allow me to explain.
When our car breaks down, we go to a workshop and have it repaired.
When our toilet is out of order, we call a plumber and he fixes it.
I am not a mechanic and I am not a plumber.
Our dog is not a car nor is (s)he a toilet.
We live in a fast food society.
Most people prefer a quick fix instead of going through a learning process.
I am a teacher.
Teaching takes time.
Your dog is a sentient living being.
Dogs learn fast when we communicate clearly with them.
We are talking about a dog pulling on a leash here.
Or rather, we are talking about a human being allowing a dog to pull on a leash here.
The human is mentioning a symptom: the dog is pulling.
Many dog carers blame the dog for pulling.
Many dog carers are unwilling to have a look at themselves.
Just like I was unwilling to have a close look at myself during the first 60 years of my life.
When I had my first dog, she was pulling too.
Me too, I blamed her.
Me too, I thought there was something wrong with the dog and most of all I thought there was certainly NOTHING wrong with me.
The well-meaning amateurs of the Belgian club, who were teaching me how to walk the dog, told me to buy a choke chain and to keep choking my bitch until she would walk to heel.
It never worked and I certainly am responsible for the pain my beautiful bitch suffered for years on end.
She suffered because I did not know how to communicate correctly with her.
Today it usually takes a few minutes until a dog walks to heal with me, because I learned how to communicate with dogs, with the result that I understand dogs and dogs understand me.
So, back to basics.
If your dog is pulling Sue, the pulling is a symptom of something else.
Fighting the symptom never brings us the solution.
It makes me think of a lady friend who has been suffering from migraine for years.
For years on end she has been taking pain killers. Her medical doctor is clearly "fighting" a symptom. But he is certainly not offering a solution.
On the contrary.
He tells her she has to learn to live with her pain.
But she is not willing to consider the possibility of learning how to relax herself, for instance by learning how to meditate. Neither is she willing to reestablish the mineral imbalance in her body.
She is being prescribed ever stronger pain killers just like I was told to use a choke chain on my first dog.
What is the solution for a pulling dog?
The solution is to learn how to behave in such a way that the dog pays attention to us, accepts our guidance and respects our leadership.
Remember, I am speaking about a learning proces here.
I am not offering a quick fix.
I am not a plumber.
Some clients ask me: How long does it take?
Can I ask you: How long is a piece of string?
How fast will you learn?
How dedicated will you be?
How much time will you spend on developing yourself?
I do not know.
What I know is that many people say: "I cannot afford it".
In the Western way of thinking, we have learned that THINGS are of the utmost importance.
We are being brainwashed into investing in THINGS like cars, houses, furniture, money, clothes, jewelry, diamond studded collars for dogs, you name it....
We are also being brainwashed into believing that NEW things are more important than the THINGS we already have.
It is my opinion that this will eventually lead to the destruction of Mother Earth.
Unfortunately most of us are not being educated into investing time (and money) in our personal development.
We are being brainwashed into believing that the more THINGS we have the happier we will be. Many times more NEW THINGS make us unhappy.
Let me give you an example.
It is the living nightmare of a man (I know him) who buys all sorts of magazines about cars, reading them from the first page till the very last. Then he takes a decision and orders a new car. The moment he leaves the showroom of the dealer in his new car (so he told me), he is a bit excited but at the same time he is already thinking about the next new car he is going to buy.
I am not a world famous inventor as I did not invent hot water.
But I discovered that investing in my personal development makes me FEEL connected with the Universe, with Mother Earth, with my loved ones, with every living being on this planet. My direct link with Nature is being provided by my dogs.
The less THINGS I have the better I FEEL.
The less THINGS I have the happier I FEEL.
We are living in a society where TO HAVE is important.
Dogs are living in a society where TO BE is important.
If you are interested in discovering how to really understand your dogs I am offering you my help.
If you think that "training the dog" will offer you the solution to a symptom like a pulling dog, well then I have not been clear enough yet.
I invite you to start your journey. Your dogs will be your guides (if you are willing to listen to them) and I can be your interpreter (if you are willing to learn).
Kindest regards from your Doglistener.
WALK IN JALON 15.05.2011, starting at 10.00
This is what Philip wrote to me:
Just to let you know that Jalon HELP charity are having a do at the rastro car parking area in Jalon this Sunday at 10.00am. Therefore I think it would be best if we met not in the car park as arranged but go down the side of the Tourist Office as though going over the river but park on the right there. If that seems OK could you please put these new arrangements in your Blog. Same time of course.
Any thoughts you may have just let me know.
Kind regards
Jan & Phil Turner
As I am honouring two more walking friends who asked me to teach them how to walk with a dog on a slack leash.
Thanks to Sue and to the two other friends my blog is not a one way street anymore.
Great!
I am really very happy and very grateful for Sue-s comments because they inspired me.
I could have felt sad, angry, glad, afraid, annoyed, embarrassed, joyful, happy, defeated, frustrated, anxious, etc... As you can see, there is quite a long catalogue of feelings to choose from when someone tells me or writes me something.
But I FEEL glad with the comments and I am responsible for HOW I feel.
Thank you Sue for sending me the following message:
"Well Bruno, I am sure you dont mean to but sometimes if I ask you a question, you answer me in a manner that makes me feel like I am an idiot. The truth is I am frightened to ask you to teach me. Tomorrow I shall bring just one of my dogs & shall ask you to teach me how to walk Billy on a slack leash."
First some preliminary remarks.
1. What I am going to write is only my personal opinion. Opinions are the cheapest commodity on Mother Earth because we all seem to have more than enough opinions about everything.
2. What I am going to write is based upon my own personal experience.
3. What I am going to write is based upon my own personal perception.I am looking through my own eyes. I will never be able to look through the eyes of somebody else. The way I perceive the world is my creation. It means for instance that I can create a positive or a negative world.
4. I do not want to convince anyone of my opinion.
5. I am able to write the following text thanks to the teachings of Eva Schoenfeld, MKP=brothers, my parents, my children, Béatrice Van Kerckhove, martial arts masters and friends, authors like Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Carl Gustav Jung, James Redfield, Rüdiger Dahlke, Don Miguel Ruiz, John Gray, many clients, many friends, many pupils, many other persons and certainly many dogs.
6. Beware because this is going to be a long letter.
You answer in a manner that makes me feel I am an idiot.
Absolutely true if that is your perception Sue.
The major part of my life I have acted and reacted in a similar way, just like Sue does, when she makes me responsible for her feeling.
In the past it was my conviction that other people were not only responsible for my feelings but other people had to make me happy.It was my perception. And this was especially true with the women I married or lived with as if we were married. Unconsciously I expected them to make me happy. I expected them to make me feel good. In order to get to that result I tried to assume how they wanted me to behave. This led me to a behavioural pattern whereby I was continuously constructing an artificial ME. In most cases the ladies, who were supposed to make me happy, did not live up to my expectations. On the contrary. As I fell in love I also could fall out of love. A while after falling in love they were making me unhappy. Or so I thought. So, I blamed them for what they did to me. They were responsible for my happiness and my unhappiness. Or so I thought.
This was how I lived on emotional automatic pilot until I started discovering that I was living a mediocre life as a totally unconscious man. Slowly I learned how to deal with my shadow, which is the hiding place of my human psyche. It is the place where I hide everything I want to negate and repress. For the major part of my life this hiding place of negative energies was totally necessary for me, given the enormous difficulty of facing my darkest impulses and deepest humiliations.
As I expected other people to make me happy, I was constantly unhappy.
I made the other people responsible for my feelings.
Let me give you an example:
One day I told Eva Schoenfeld, my wife whom I loved very much: "If you are happy, I am happy."
The moment I said this to her, she started laughing out loud. I felt disappointed, insulted and unhappy. I did not understand her reaction, not even when she explained it to me.
It took me many years, and a divorce, to discover that I am solely responsible for my own life and for my own feelings. This proces has not ended, as it is an never-ending journey.
Conclusion
Sue, I accept what you write. It certainly can be true that you felt like an idiot, like I felt "unhappy" so many times. But you are responsible for your feelings, like I am responsible for mine. At least, that is my opinion.
I am frightened to ask you to teach me.
I know the feeling Sue. This is the way I felt many times in the former unconscious stage of my life. Fear ruled my life. Certainly my fear of failure and my fear of not being good enough.
Regarding what you write I have felt like that because I assumed the other person would think I was an idiot.
But what I assume is something that I construct in my imagination, based upon my perception. It is not something that really exists. As a matter of fact I continuously assumed lots of things. Until I learned to clearly ask what I wanted.
I will tell you the anecdote of the Iceberg Salad.
One day (I had turned sixty and we must have been married for 2 years) my wife Eva had made a prawn cocktail with iceberg salad. Eating it I did not like the taste and suddenly I had the courage to say: "I do not like it." Eva started laughing and clapping her hands until she could say: "This is the first time you clearly say to me you do not like something I prepared. I am so glad you could do it, because it means an enormous step in your personal development."
I was astonished.
She was not angry.
She did not call me an idiot.
She was glad.
I had always assumed I had to eat what she prepared without telling her clearly what I wanted. When she for instance asked me if I wanted soup or salad, my standard answer had always been "whatever you like my dear".
Eva taught me to say I prefer salad, and...many more things.
Today I still have to make an effort to observe my own behaviour when I am making assumptions. The same goes for asking questions and expressing clearly what I want. Expressing clearly what we want is one of the Four Agreements, a book written by Don Miguel Ruiz: Be as clear as possible when communicating with others in order to avoid misunderstandings and suffering.
This is where the part played by my canine teachers is of the utmost importance.
You see, dogs never make assumptions. Humans do it all the time. We certainly make assumptions about dogs and treat them as if they were human beings. This leads to enormous misunderstandings and enormous suffering of both dogs and humans.
Dogs are very easy to understand because they are so clear in their communications. In addition to that they never blame, judge, criticize or moan.
They offer us unconditional love.
Looking back over 18 years of working as a professional doglistener I am amazed how many of my clients talk themselves down. Many times I have listened to people calling themselves "useless, stupid, good for nothing , etc...
Sometimes I could accompany them on their journey out of that self-made prison of low self-esteem and fear. During that journey the dogs are our guides and I am only the interpreter. Working with dog carers I constantly translate what the dogs are telling me in a human language of words. Unfortunately many clients do not want to grasp the meaning of what their dogs are telling them. I call them the clients sailing down the river of Denial.
I shall ask you to teach me how to walk Billy on a slack leash.
Well Sue, maybe you did not read my letter about "I am not a plumber" or maybe I was not clear enough. By the way, this could be two assumptions but I am not going to make them.
Allow me to explain.
When our car breaks down, we go to a workshop and have it repaired.
When our toilet is out of order, we call a plumber and he fixes it.
I am not a mechanic and I am not a plumber.
Our dog is not a car nor is (s)he a toilet.
We live in a fast food society.
Most people prefer a quick fix instead of going through a learning process.
I am a teacher.
Teaching takes time.
Your dog is a sentient living being.
Dogs learn fast when we communicate clearly with them.
We are talking about a dog pulling on a leash here.
Or rather, we are talking about a human being allowing a dog to pull on a leash here.
The human is mentioning a symptom: the dog is pulling.
Many dog carers blame the dog for pulling.
Many dog carers are unwilling to have a look at themselves.
Just like I was unwilling to have a close look at myself during the first 60 years of my life.
When I had my first dog, she was pulling too.
Me too, I blamed her.
Me too, I thought there was something wrong with the dog and most of all I thought there was certainly NOTHING wrong with me.
The well-meaning amateurs of the Belgian club, who were teaching me how to walk the dog, told me to buy a choke chain and to keep choking my bitch until she would walk to heel.
It never worked and I certainly am responsible for the pain my beautiful bitch suffered for years on end.
She suffered because I did not know how to communicate correctly with her.
Today it usually takes a few minutes until a dog walks to heal with me, because I learned how to communicate with dogs, with the result that I understand dogs and dogs understand me.
So, back to basics.
If your dog is pulling Sue, the pulling is a symptom of something else.
Fighting the symptom never brings us the solution.
It makes me think of a lady friend who has been suffering from migraine for years.
For years on end she has been taking pain killers. Her medical doctor is clearly "fighting" a symptom. But he is certainly not offering a solution.
On the contrary.
He tells her she has to learn to live with her pain.
But she is not willing to consider the possibility of learning how to relax herself, for instance by learning how to meditate. Neither is she willing to reestablish the mineral imbalance in her body.
She is being prescribed ever stronger pain killers just like I was told to use a choke chain on my first dog.
What is the solution for a pulling dog?
The solution is to learn how to behave in such a way that the dog pays attention to us, accepts our guidance and respects our leadership.
Remember, I am speaking about a learning proces here.
I am not offering a quick fix.
I am not a plumber.
Some clients ask me: How long does it take?
Can I ask you: How long is a piece of string?
How fast will you learn?
How dedicated will you be?
How much time will you spend on developing yourself?
I do not know.
What I know is that many people say: "I cannot afford it".
In the Western way of thinking, we have learned that THINGS are of the utmost importance.
We are being brainwashed into investing in THINGS like cars, houses, furniture, money, clothes, jewelry, diamond studded collars for dogs, you name it....
We are also being brainwashed into believing that NEW things are more important than the THINGS we already have.
It is my opinion that this will eventually lead to the destruction of Mother Earth.
Unfortunately most of us are not being educated into investing time (and money) in our personal development.
We are being brainwashed into believing that the more THINGS we have the happier we will be. Many times more NEW THINGS make us unhappy.
Let me give you an example.
It is the living nightmare of a man (I know him) who buys all sorts of magazines about cars, reading them from the first page till the very last. Then he takes a decision and orders a new car. The moment he leaves the showroom of the dealer in his new car (so he told me), he is a bit excited but at the same time he is already thinking about the next new car he is going to buy.
I am not a world famous inventor as I did not invent hot water.
But I discovered that investing in my personal development makes me FEEL connected with the Universe, with Mother Earth, with my loved ones, with every living being on this planet. My direct link with Nature is being provided by my dogs.
The less THINGS I have the better I FEEL.
The less THINGS I have the happier I FEEL.
We are living in a society where TO HAVE is important.
Dogs are living in a society where TO BE is important.
If you are interested in discovering how to really understand your dogs I am offering you my help.
If you think that "training the dog" will offer you the solution to a symptom like a pulling dog, well then I have not been clear enough yet.
I invite you to start your journey. Your dogs will be your guides (if you are willing to listen to them) and I can be your interpreter (if you are willing to learn).
Kindest regards from your Doglistener.
WALK IN JALON 15.05.2011, starting at 10.00
This is what Philip wrote to me:
Just to let you know that Jalon HELP charity are having a do at the rastro car parking area in Jalon this Sunday at 10.00am. Therefore I think it would be best if we met not in the car park as arranged but go down the side of the Tourist Office as though going over the river but park on the right there. If that seems OK could you please put these new arrangements in your Blog. Same time of course.
Any thoughts you may have just let me know.
Kind regards
Jan & Phil Turner
Monday, May 2, 2011
Orba 08.05.2011
Pulling human and dog
During one of my walks I found myself behind a person who had a dog on a leash. What I saw were two unhappy sentient beings, being linked to each other by a leash.
The human was constantly pulling the dog closer to her/his left leg, while saying something like "heel". The distance covered by each jerk must have been half a meter. This means that the dog being snatched by the collar around its neck, was displaced over the distance of half a meter, just as if (s)he was a THING like a chair or a box. The dog's reaction to the painful jerk to the right, was each time to immediately go back to the position (s)he was in, i.e. at the end of the leash, at a distance of about half a meter from the human leg.
It was clear that the human wanted the dog to walk close to him/her but it was also very clear that each jerk was each time, utterly and totally useless.
Is this a comfortable situation for the dog carer to be in?
NO.
Is this a comfortable situation for the dog to be in?
NO.
According to research done in Germany 96 percent of all dogs have a trauma in the neck. Most of these dogs are "owned" by NICE dog loving people. Any idea how painful a trauma in the neck is? Just ask someone who has been the victim of a whiplash.
Now try to imagine having dozens of whiplashes every day.
You got the picture?
Great isn't it.
Would you like to be treated like that?
NO.
Then, why do so many dog carers submit their dog to that kind of treatment?
Why don't they ask me to teach them how to communicate correctly with their dogs?
Why they do not say something like: "Look Bruno, we've known each other for quite some time and I have seen how you can deal with both dogs and their carers. Would you please teach me how to walk with my dog on a slack leash?"
My answer would be: "It will be my pleasure to teach you dear friend."
Nevertheless my question for today is: Why people who know me quite well don't ask me to teach them?
You could read about what I assume is the answer in my letter about DENIAL.
It is my opinion (like Cesar Milan thinks too)that many people prefer to paddle down the river called DENIAL.
Denial is a powerful force in human lives. For some of us, our dogs become projections of our own Egos and we see them the way we want to see ourselves. However, until we see ourselves the way we really are, we cannot help our dogs. One of the hardest things for any human being to do is to admit a mistake and change a behaviour. Most clients keep on telling me how nice their dog is and how they adore her/him. At the same time they are blaming their pets for the unresolved issues in their own lives. For me as an observer it is obvious they are avoiding these issues or are unaware of them.
If you are having difficulties with your dog, the first thing to do is take a good, honest look within. I am more than willing to help you getting there. The second thing you have to do is to cultivate calm assertive energy. I am more than willing to help you reach that state of mind.
If clients are not willing to do that, it becomes very difficult for me to help them.
But if you have the courage and the consistency to travel on the road of personal development, there will be very positive changes not only in the life with your dog, but most of all in the life you lead with yourself and with anyone around you.
Written with love and compassion for both suffering dogs and nice well-meaning humans.
ORBA 08.05.2011
Due to popular demand, on Sunday 08.05.2011 we will do the flat walk in Orba. At 10.00 we will start from the OLD parking lot at the Orba cemetery.
In the mean time Linda has promised to look into the possibility of organizing a walk with us in Jesús Pobre.
See you on Sunday.
Brunothedoglistener
brunosdogs@gmail.com
690192976
During one of my walks I found myself behind a person who had a dog on a leash. What I saw were two unhappy sentient beings, being linked to each other by a leash.
The human was constantly pulling the dog closer to her/his left leg, while saying something like "heel". The distance covered by each jerk must have been half a meter. This means that the dog being snatched by the collar around its neck, was displaced over the distance of half a meter, just as if (s)he was a THING like a chair or a box. The dog's reaction to the painful jerk to the right, was each time to immediately go back to the position (s)he was in, i.e. at the end of the leash, at a distance of about half a meter from the human leg.
It was clear that the human wanted the dog to walk close to him/her but it was also very clear that each jerk was each time, utterly and totally useless.
Is this a comfortable situation for the dog carer to be in?
NO.
Is this a comfortable situation for the dog to be in?
NO.
According to research done in Germany 96 percent of all dogs have a trauma in the neck. Most of these dogs are "owned" by NICE dog loving people. Any idea how painful a trauma in the neck is? Just ask someone who has been the victim of a whiplash.
Now try to imagine having dozens of whiplashes every day.
You got the picture?
Great isn't it.
Would you like to be treated like that?
NO.
Then, why do so many dog carers submit their dog to that kind of treatment?
Why don't they ask me to teach them how to communicate correctly with their dogs?
Why they do not say something like: "Look Bruno, we've known each other for quite some time and I have seen how you can deal with both dogs and their carers. Would you please teach me how to walk with my dog on a slack leash?"
My answer would be: "It will be my pleasure to teach you dear friend."
Nevertheless my question for today is: Why people who know me quite well don't ask me to teach them?
You could read about what I assume is the answer in my letter about DENIAL.
It is my opinion (like Cesar Milan thinks too)that many people prefer to paddle down the river called DENIAL.
Denial is a powerful force in human lives. For some of us, our dogs become projections of our own Egos and we see them the way we want to see ourselves. However, until we see ourselves the way we really are, we cannot help our dogs. One of the hardest things for any human being to do is to admit a mistake and change a behaviour. Most clients keep on telling me how nice their dog is and how they adore her/him. At the same time they are blaming their pets for the unresolved issues in their own lives. For me as an observer it is obvious they are avoiding these issues or are unaware of them.
If you are having difficulties with your dog, the first thing to do is take a good, honest look within. I am more than willing to help you getting there. The second thing you have to do is to cultivate calm assertive energy. I am more than willing to help you reach that state of mind.
If clients are not willing to do that, it becomes very difficult for me to help them.
But if you have the courage and the consistency to travel on the road of personal development, there will be very positive changes not only in the life with your dog, but most of all in the life you lead with yourself and with anyone around you.
Written with love and compassion for both suffering dogs and nice well-meaning humans.
ORBA 08.05.2011
Due to popular demand, on Sunday 08.05.2011 we will do the flat walk in Orba. At 10.00 we will start from the OLD parking lot at the Orba cemetery.
In the mean time Linda has promised to look into the possibility of organizing a walk with us in Jesús Pobre.
See you on Sunday.
Brunothedoglistener
brunosdogs@gmail.com
690192976
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)